A Mother’s Love- not Less, Just Different


It seems that we live in a world of constant comparison. And sometimes when it comes to motherhood, it is easy to get down on ourselves and feel like we don’t do enough, that WE aren’t enough, and that our love isn’t good enough. This world of comparison can also sometimes leave us feeling like we are better, like we parent better, like our love is better.

But I’ve come to realize that sometimes our love is not less or more. It is just different.

Just different.

You may love your child so much that you stand next to them on the monkey bars, ready to catch them if they fall. I may love my child so much that I sit by on the sidelines, ready to comfort them when they do fall. Love that’s not less, just different. 

Your love may be so great that you stay at home with your child, teaching them, nurturing them, serving them, loving them. My love may be so great that I work a paying job and find childcare. Love thats not less, just different. 

I may love my child so much that I will give them my cell phone to play on when we go out to eat. Preserving my patience, enjoying some time outside of the house, having a break from the discipline that comes with having 4 rowdy boys who burp like Buddy the Elf when we are out in public.  You may love your child so much that you say no to their begging to borrow your phone. You want to train them and raise them to have good manners. To spend quality time with family. To carry on a conversation. Love not less, just different.

You may love your baby so much that you breastfeed when it’s hard. That you persevere through the struggle when you’re just ready to quit. I may love my baby so much that I bottle feed because I just don’t produce enough and I want what is best for my baby. Love that’s not less, just different.

You may love your child so much that you use that as motivation to get up for your 5am workouts. I may love my child so much that I have chocolate ice cream and peanut butter at 11pm to try to unwind after a long day. Love that’s not less, just different. 

I may love my child so much that I spank them as a form of discipline. You may love your child so much that you use time-outs for bad behavior. Love that’s not less, just different.

You may love your child so much that you make them pick up every single toy on their bedroom floor. You want to teach them responsibility and cleanliness. I may love my child so much that I let them be messy. I want them to know their room is their space. That home is their safe place. Love not less, just different.

You may love your babies so much that you let them watch hours of TV while crying in your room from the loneliness and stress of being a single mom. Hoping that they will see you as strong and not see your brokenness. I may love my babies so much that I limit them to 30 minutes of TV a day because someone, somewhere, said to limit screen time. I may love so much that I will willingly deplete my energy, patience, and kindness, because limiting TV leaves me to be their source of entertainment, and that is hard. Love that’s not less, just different. 

I may love my child’s passion so much that I save up $3000 to put them in a team sport that will teach them hard work, teamwork, and a never quit attitude. You may love your child so much that you spend just $45 for a 5 week sports season because you want them to know there is more to life than sports and hard work can be learned off the field. Love that’s not less, just different.

You may love your child so much that you escape an abusive marriage because nothing is more important to you than the safety of your children. I may love my kids so much that I stay in a broken marriage because I want to teach them the value of commitment. Love that’s not less, just different.

And there is so much more. Vaccinations, school types, marriage, discipline, friends- choices. We all have choices. But making different choices isn’t a measurement of our love. The love we have for our children is something that can’t be measured. It’s not more or less. It’s just ours. And it can be different.

So next time you see someone mothering differently than you, just remember their love is not less or more.

It’s just different.

Make sure to share this post and then check out my new Children’s Bible reading schedule on Amazon!

 

 

8 thoughts on “A Mother’s Love- not Less, Just Different

  1. Rebekah says:

    Thanks for sharing this! Especially in an age of mommy wars and mommy shaming it is important to remember that we all love our children and want what is best for them.

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